


VENGEANCE IS MINE

by Karl5



Series: Kurt Darkholme Story Arc [4]
Category: Logan/Kurt - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 07:45:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karl5/pseuds/Karl5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Kurt Darkholme betrays X-Force, he faces a private reckoning of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	VENGEANCE IS MINE

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: I personally do not believe in life after death, but since Kurt’s spirit visited Logan in the Marvel Universe, it is most certainly possible there.
> 
> Once again, I have listed this as Logan/Kurt Fandom, even though Logan is not in this story, in order that the entire story arc will appear together.
> 
> Covers events in Uncanny X-Force #32-34

**VENGEANCE IS MINE**

**_Romans 12:19+21_**

**_19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. . .  21  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good._ **

****

**It’s dark and cold.  I hurt, but in a distant way, as if it’s not me but someone else who feels the pain.  Why am I here?  Where is here?**

**I struggle to remember what happened.  I must make sense of this.  I was injured, impaled by that robot creature.  I managed to find my mother and take her to safety before I blacked out. No, that was not my mother, it was – it was – someone from that other world.  Yes, that’s it.  The world where I finally succeeded in killing the Blob.**

**Satisfaction spreads through my being.  At last, I have my revenge!  It took too long, but I finally did it.  Linda.  I have avenged her death.  Yes!  It does not matter what happens now.  I can die a happy man.  It was worth it, for you, my love.**

**I try to concentrate on my success, the way I watched him die as the shark devoured his innards.  He suffered terribly, as you did, my Linda.  He has paid the price, and I was the one who collected it for you.**

**Another image superimposes itself upon that gross body; her ravaged corpse, just as I have imagined it so often over the years, a vision that never failed to ignite my determination to destroy her killer each time I called it up.  In fact, when I think of her now, all I see is that hideous image.   I want to banish it, but I cannot.**

**I never saw her body.  My friends kept me from that.  But it didn’t matter.  Haven’t I seen the bodies of his many other victims?  I know too well what he did and how he did it.**

**No!  No more!  She is at peace!  She has to be!  I have avenged her, even though I betrayed my teammates to do it.  It was worth it, even if they died as a result.  The Blob is dead.  That’s all that matters.**

**And yet I can still feel how gentle Logan’s fingers were as he made me ready to accept him into my body for the first time.  He was so patient, when only moments earlier I'd lost myself in a brutal ravaging of his flesh.**

**No, I will not think of that!**

**I fight against the darkness surrounding me, but I cannot move.  I cannot even teleport, since I have no idea where I am, much less where I could go.**

**The blackness splits apart with a strange noise, as a pale blue haze of light and smoke appears before me, outlining the silhouette of a man dressed in a plain white robe with a hood that keeps his face in shadow.**

**“Kurt Darkholme, I had such high hopes for you,” he says sternly, with a German accent very like my own, “but you have disappointed me.”**

**“Was?  Wer sind Sie?” I demand.**

**“You do not recognize me?”  He folds the hood back off of his head.  “Are you that blind?”**

**I look at him more closely.  Yes, I have seen him before, but only in fragmented visions.  “Sie sind mein Doppelgänger, Kurt Wagner.”**

**“Ja.”**

**“Was machen Sie hier?”**

**“Obviously, I am talking to you, just as I have done before.  And you vill now speak in English, for the sake of one who cannot speak German fluently.”**

**“Vhy?  You are dead.  English or German, you cannot be talking to me.  This is not possible.”**

**He steps aside and someone else walks out from the shadows behind him, wearing the same white robe, but with the hood pushed back to reveal her face.  “And I suppose I can’t talk to you either, can I?” she asks.**

**“Linda?  Mein Gott!  Linda!”  I try to go to her, to take her into my arms, but I still cannot move.**

**“Oh, my dearest Kurt, how could you do this?   Did you imagine I wanted it?  That the death of the one who murdered me would make me happy or bring me peace?”**

**“Y – yes.  Please, Linda, I –”**

**That other Kurt shakes his head again as he interrupts me ruthlessly.  “The dead have no need of revenge.  Justice, however, is something else.”**

**Linda takes it from there.  “If you had sought out the Blob so that he couldn’t do to others what he did to me, I would at least be proud of you.  But it was merely in order to satisfy your thirst for vengeance, so all I can offer you is my pity, for you were willing to sacrifice those who could have loved you for nothing more than your own overriding hatred.”**

**“I only did it because I loved you so much!  I don’t care about them.  All I vanted vas to take vengeance upon my enemy.  Your enemy.”**

**For a split second, I saw again the sunset fading in the desert sky, with Wade lying by my side.  Covered in glittering stars, its unspoiled beauty had overwhelmed me with a strange joy at the incredible beauty of this other world.**

**But that’s irrelevant.  I could not have allowed myself to care about them, even if I had wanted to.**

**“And you took your vengeance, but was it worth leaving Logan and Wade to die?”**

**“That overbearing asshole with the claws und the escapee from an insane asylum?  Vhat are they to me?” I say with a sneer.**

**Kurt Wagner closes his eyes briefly, as if in pain.  “They could have become very important to you, if you had let them.”**

**I knew that all too well, but I would not admit it to him, much less mention such a thing in front of my Linda.   I shrug dismissively.  “I only needed them to help me get vhat I vanted.  They did not matter.”**

**“They vere your teammates and –” he begins.  I glare fiercely at him, wanting to stop him from saying the next words, but he ignores me.  “— your lovers.”  His lips quirk into a smile.  “Vhat is the matter?  Do you think she does not know?”  He turns to her.  “Linda?”**

**“I would not have wanted it otherwise.  The dead are not jealous.  Take love wherever it can be found, for it’s the most precious thing in the world.  And give love wherever and however it may be offered to you.”**

**It hurts too much to hear her words.  I hang my head and close my burning eyes as she continues.  “Yet you left them to die, along with that poor confused boy.  Do you call that honor?”**

**“I – I vould have gone back to save them, if I could have.”  I dare to glance pleadingly up at that beloved face.  “I vould have.  Please!  You must believe me!  I vas badly injured, or I vould have tried.”**

**Even as I say it, I realize it is the truth.  If I had not passed out after getting Mystique away from the collapsing building, I truly would have tried.**

**Linda stares hard into my eyes, as if trying to discover if I’m telling the truth.  She’s done that often before, knowing that I would not be able to meet her gaze if I were lying.  My eyes would change color just enough to give me away.  I stare back without flinching.**

**“I believe you,” she says at last.  Placing a hand on that other Kurt’s arm, she tells him firmly,  “The man I married would not have left others to die, if he could have saved them.”**

**He tightens his lips slightly, but does not reply.  But what he thinks does not matter.  All that counts is my Linda.**

**“Vhat – vhat happened to them?” I finally get up the courage to ask my accuser.  “Do you know?”**

**“I know.  And I vill show you.”  He waves one hand and a scene plays out against the backdrop of the darkness surrounding us.**

**I see Logan floating in a tank of water, drowning, eyes half closed, as that no-good son of his taunts him about Evan putting on the Apocalypse armor.**

**Wade, holding a sword dripping blood over a dying Skinless Man, saying, “That’s for Fantomex.”**

**Evan, kneeling before his beloved Uncle Cluster’s body, asking how people can be this horrible.**

**Wade again, kneeling next to Logan, kissing – no, trying to resuscitate him.**

**Logan, apparently recovered, locked into a savage battle with Daken, at last drowning him in a puddle, then pulling him up and holding him in his arms, with fires burning all around.**

**Logan, stopping Evan from killing Sabretooth, his voice ragged with devastation and desperation.  “Look around you, son.  This is revenge.  This is what it gets.  It’s all a mess.  Ain’t a thing – ain’t a damned thing solved – You see that, Evan?  For the love of God, tell me you can see that!”  His voice fading into unconsciousness as he collapses in Evan’s arms.**

**Finally, Evan carrying Logan to the Ship, where Wade and Betsy stand waiting in the entryway.**

**“They – they all survived?” I ask, my voice catching in my throat.**

**“Ja.  No thanks to you.”**

**I have nothing to say in response.**

**Somewhere in my mind, I hear Wade’s voice:  “I don’t want to let anyone down, because this is the closest thing to a family I’ve ever had.”**

**Another memory: The hard strength of Logan’s arms wrapped around me from behind, holding me back against his chest, as if he never wanted to let me go.  And how wonderful it felt, to be held that way.**

**“Do you have any idea how much you hurt him, Darkholme?  How much he needed you after he killed his son?  But you vere not there, and all he had vas the memory of your betrayal.”**

**I have had enough of this.  “How dare you stand in judgment over me, you self-righteous ass?!  I vas nothing to him, or him to me.  Ve fucked each other a number of times.  That does not make him my lover, nor my responsibility!  Because you may have loved him does not mean that I did also!”**

**But I remember that last time, when Logan asked if he could call me Kurt, and the intensity of the kiss I used to answer him.**

**Then Linda looks at me, and I cannot meet her eyes.**

**“Linda, no!  I did not love him,” I protest, against the evidence of my eyes.  “I have never loved anyone but you!  Never!”**

**She shakes her head, smiling sadly.  And Kurt Wagner sees this, and he knows.**

**“Never,” I repeat brokenly, lapsing into German.  “Niemals.  Nur dich, meine Geliebte.  Only you.”**

**“You are a liar and a traitor,” Wagner says implacably.**

**“I vas only there to pursue my enemy.  I never claimed othervise.  They knew that.”**

**“Did you learn nothing from Logan’s vords to Evan about revenge?”  Now he sounds defeated, as if he has given up.**

**“I had a right to take vengeance upon the one who wronged me.”  I stare him coldly in the face, daring him to deny it.**

**“Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord,” comes the quiet reply.**

**That is too much for me to take.**

**“Nein!  Mein ist die Rache!  A monster is dead because I killed him!  Und I vould do it again, if I had the choice!”  I reach behind me for my sword, but it isn’t there.   No matter.  Somehow, I am free to move.  I start to lunge forward at him.**

**Linda steps between us, the expression on her face more awful than I have ever seen it before.  She touches my forehead lightly, with a gesture as if she is pulling something out of my mind.**

**And the image that has stirred me to revenge for all these years stands revealed here before me, but it is worse even than I had imagined it.  I rear back, a scream caught in my throat.**

**“Yes, dearest Kurt, this is the body you buried in my coffin, and this is the way it truly looked when he was done with me.”**

**Then another familiar scene flashes before my eyes:  the blood-spattered living room, the Blob holding a fainting Linda in front of him.  Again, my imagination, since I never saw what happened.**

**“Foolish man, do you think this is how it was?  That I fainted away, still fully clothed?  Oh no, my husband.  It was not so easy.  I was no passive victim.  I fought him with all my strength as he rammed his penis into me.  When he bit and tore at my breasts, so did I tear at his putrid flesh with my teeth and nails, screaming obscenities.  When he tore my belly open and wrenched out my sexual parts, I was too weak to struggle any longer.  I could only watch as he squeezed his own semen out of my savaged vagina into his mouth.  When he bit into my womb, I knew he was ending the potential life of the child I had conceived.  Yes, my love.  I would have told you of that at our next meeting, but I never had the chance.**

**“When he finished, his face bloodied and smiling, he licked his lips, then grabbed my hair, pulling my head up so that I could not help but see what remained of my body.  I was beyond sanity by then, able to do little besides whimper and wish for death, but I heard him say, ‘See?  This is what that devil’s spawn you married will find when he comes home to his loving wife.  This is what a filthy little bitch like you deserves, for offering her body to our enemies.  Keep watching now.  I want you to die with this image before your eyes.’**

**“Still holding my head, he wrenched my legs apart with his other hand, opened his mouth and began gnawing on what remained of my external sex organs.  When he lifted his head, I could see the white gleam of my pubic bones through the blood that was now oozing only slowly out of the gaping hole of my pelvis.**

**“He tore great chunks of muscle from my thighs.  His open mouth loomed in front of my eyes, but I was mercifully dead before his teeth closed on my face.”**

**She stops, as if dazed.  I stand frozen, paralyzed by the pure horror of her words, while my doppelgänger places his arm around her waist, supporting her and letting her lean up against him.  I want to speak, but there is nothing I can say.**

**The hideous image of her corpse still stands beside me, wavering like a ghostly apparition.  I do not want to look, but I cannot look away.**

**Linda notices my glance and pulls herself up straight.**

**“You’ve held this image before you since that day.  But now I beg of you, Kurt Darkholme, if you love me, if you ever loved me, to put aside that memory of the body that lay in the coffin and see me forevermore as I want you to see me:  the way I stood before you on our wedding night.”**

**The image flickers out.  Linda’s robe evaporates and she stands there, naked and radiant with glory.  She approaches me, her hand reaching out to caress my face, wiping away a tear that runs down my cheek.  The gleam of her wedding ring catches my eye.  Oh, Linda, meine geliebte Frau!**

**“From now on, see me only like this, my beloved husband.”**

**She walks over to Wagner and takes his hand.**

**“No!  No!” I scream.  “Don’t leave me!  Let me stay vith you!”**

**“That cannot be,” she says sadly.  “We need to return, and it is not time for you to go with us.”**

**As they start to turn away, I grab hold of the back of his robe, begging, “Please!  Please!  Please!  Have mercy!”**

**He looks back at me and his glowing golden eyes meet mine; they are as full of tears as my own.**

**“You have much to learn, Kurt Darkholme.  But there is still a chance for you.  I pray that you do not disappoint us again.”**

**They disappear together into a cloud of smoke and light.**

**“No!  Linda!  No!  Come back!  Stay!”**

**Saying that, I return to a sort of hazy consciousness.  The pain reasserts itself, no longer distanced from my mind.   I must have been drugged, and am just now coming out of it.  The fog clears slowly, a bit at a time.  I open my bleary eyes.  Medical equipment, but this room does not have the appearance of a hospital or infirmary.  I try to sit up, but a fire blazes through my chest at the movement.  I collapse again with a soft cry.**

**“Kurt?”  My mother’s voice.  No.  My mother is dead.  Her doppelgänger, then.  She has stayed with me, caring for me.**

**She takes my hand.  “Can you hear me?”**

**“Ja,” I manage to say.**

**“You’re badly injured.  You must lie still or you’ll make it worse.  I’ll give you some more painkiller.”**

**“Nein.  I need to – think.  I am all right.”**

**She runs a hand through my tangled hair, as my real mother used to do.  “I don’t believe you for a minute, but if that’s what you want –”**

**I smile at the feeling of her hand in my hair, stroking me gently, as if wiping away the pain and sorrow.  I let my eyes fall closed as I nod my head.**

**What happened to me?  Was I really with them, or was it just a dream induced by the drugs?  Could I have imagined that, even if I had wanted to?  No, it was too horrible, and too glorious.  And I have seen him before and heard his voice.  Am I going crazy?  No, Logan said he saw him too.  But it cannot be real.  The dead are not alive.  Are they?**

**I do not know the answer.  But later on that night, when I finally dozed off into real sleep, Linda came to me in a dream, just as she had come to me on our wedding night, and we made love.**

**German Translation**

**Was?  Wer sind Sie?    What?  Who are you?**

**Sie sind mein Doppelgänger.   You are my double.**

**Was machen Sie hier?          What are you doing here?**

**Niemals.  Nur dich, meine Geliebte.       Never.  Only you, my beloved.**

**Nein! Mein ist die Rache!    No!  Vengeance is mine!**

**meine geliebte Frau             My beloved wife.**

MY LOGURT STORIES  
STORY ARC – Movieverse   
In the Beginning . . .   
After X-2, Kurt is considering what to do next. My slant on how he gets involved in the climax of X-3, then finds himself attracted to Logan despite his own religious issues. They take a very interesting vacation on Cape Cod, in order to spend time together and try to resolve what they want from each other, if anything.   
Please note that this story contains many links to real places on the Cape, but the links don’t always work reliably, so if you want to see them, you may need to copy/paste the URLs.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091204&chapter=1   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040785 

Morning Devotions  
It’s almost 2 years after the Battle of the Golden Gate Bridge. In addition to being an X-Man, Kurt has recently begun teaching classes at the School.   
Please note that this is the original short prologue for this entire story arc, which was written long before “In the Beginning” was even imagined. While the prologue is rather tame as far as sex is concerned, the succeeding stories will more than make up for this lack. Each story can be read alone, but they are better in order. See the AO3 version of Something a Little Different, which includes Morning Devotions as a prolog.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090821 

Something a Little Different  
When Logan wakes Kurt up in the middle of the night, Kurt just figures he wants the usual sex. But tonight, Logan wants something a little different.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090822   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040865   
(AO3 is the combined version of Morning Devotions and this story)

As the Twig is Bent  
Wie der Zweig gebogen wird , so wächst der Baum. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree.   
And Herr Grüber has long-range plans for the resulting tree.   
Logan pushes Kurt into revealing some of the dark secrets of his childhood.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090851   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040877 

PRAY FOR US SINNERS  
More secrets, from both Kurt’s past and Logan’s present.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090852   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040902 

With Nothing on My Tongue  
Logan is off somewhere trying to decide what direction he wants his life to take, while Kurt waits anxiously for his return. After several months pass, he is almost ready to give up hope.   
Two very different women help him get through this difficult time, each in her own inimitable way.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090873   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040920 

You Win, Elf  
Logan returns to tell Kurt of his decision.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090894   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040930 

Hell Hath No Fury  
Someone from Logan’s past appears – and that someone plans to take revenge on the one who scorned him .  
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090950   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1040948 

 

  
TWO SHORT STORIES WHICH COULD BE EITHER COMIC OR MOVIEVERSE

Let’s Pretend  
Just about any time after Kurt and Logan have been together for a while.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090964   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/965765 

 

Happy Birthday, Elf!  
On a certain day in November, Kurt receives a very special present. Just a bit of fluff. No Sex.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091000   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/989660 

 

  
COMICVERSE – Single stories that fit into X-Men comic issues. If you haven’t read the comic referenced after each title, the story may not make much sense to you.

HOPE X-Force #36   
Just before he dies, Kurt gives Hope a message to deliver to Logan.  
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090809   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/982644 

Revenge! Wolverine #15  
While Logan climbs the mountain to jump off yet again, he is visited by Kurt’s spirit.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090949   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/982648 

 

To Walk Away from Paradise Amazing X-Men: Quest for Nightcrawler #1-5 At the end of this series, we left Kurt sitting on the roof agonizing about having lost his soul. What if Logan didn’t leave him there alone after all? (If you haven’t read my Kurt Darkholme series, some of the references to past happenings in this story may be confusing.)  
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1856817 

 

The Monster Ultimate X-Men Annual #2  
After Rogue tells a supposedly unconscious Kurt that he is truly a monster, Logan tries his best to convince him otherwise..   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090893   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/981587 

 

The Best You Can Hope For Astonishing X-Men # 44-47 & 59-61, X-treme X-Men # 1-13, Age of Apocalypse # 13 & 14, and X-Termination # 1+2  
James Howlett tells about his relationship with young Kurt Waggoner. As he tries to teach the boy what it means to be a hero, young Kurt has a lesson to teach him in return.   
No sex.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091203   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/979462 

COMICVERSE  
KURT DARKHOLME STORY ARC   
Der Doppelgänger Set between Uncanny X-Force #23 and #24  
Kurt Darkholme and Logan end up in bed together.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600090999   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091062 

 

Of Angry Elves and Mouthy Mercenaries Set several days after Bobby’s death in UXF #24, and prior to what happened in Deadpool #50-54. Also prior to Betsy and Fantomex’s departure from X-Force in #25.  
Kurt Darkholme and Wade Wilson get to know each other better, among other activities. 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091017   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091097 

 

Hinter Meine Masken (Behind My Masks) Takes place sometime after UXF-26 when they have a night free.  
Logan, Kurt Darkholme, and Deadpool deepen their involvement with each other.   
http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091081   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091306 

 

Vengeance Is Mine Uncanny X-Force #32-34  
After Kurt Darkholme betrays X-Force, he faces a private reckoning of his own . 

 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091156   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091373 

 

Say Very Softly After Astonishing X-Men #59  
Kurt Darkholme and Deadpool have one last fling. 

http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600091183   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091440 

 

The Only Thing   
Set after the end of the X-Termination story arc  
What if Kurt Darkholme survives? 

http://xmen.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091259   
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1091522

**Author's Note:**

> For any of my readers who enjoy stories involving male/male sex in general, I’ve started a series of ebooks on Amazon that is not fanfiction. It doesn’t involve Logan, Kurt, or any other superheroes, but my two main characters are heroes of a more everyday kind, each in his own way. You can find out more about it at: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00J75NJIE and http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M0CZM3G


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